Toby is a sophisticated cat who truly appreciates the finer things in life, especially savoury wet food, tasty treats, and a good sniff of catnip. He has a wonderful, playful side and loves engaging with wand toys – particularly when they are hidden under a towel – as well as batting around his favourite little bear toy. Because Toby values his peaceful moments and can be a bit sensitive to loud outside noises, he prefers a quiet environment where he can retreat to his favourite box for a rest when he needs a break. He is an independent spirit who communicates beautifully when he has had just enough attention, making him the perfect match for a family that understands how to balance active playtime with serene downtime.

If you are looking for a calm, sweet companion to bring a touch of grace and gentle affection to your life, Toby is ready to meet you. Please reach out to the shelter today to learn more about how you can welcome this wonderful cat into your home.

Toby

Breed: Domestic Short Hair, Mix

Age: 7 years

Sex: Male

Size: S

Colour: Grey / White

For Toronto Humane Society’s complete adoption process, please click here to learn more about how you can make this companion, a forever friend!

About this column:

Each week we feature animals available for adoption from local shelters in the Toronto area with the hopes that our readers will assist in finding good homes for them. If you, or someone you know, has the resources to take care of one of these animals, please do get in touch with the appropriate shelter via the links provided.

The post Toby the cat is looking for a new home in the Toronto area appeared first on Toronto Guardian.

How would you describe your comedy style?

Like a playful little spank on the bum… Ok, maybe not so playful.

Who are some of your influences?

I used to love me some Tough Crowd back in the day, Greg Giraldo, Nick Di Paolo, Patrice O’Neal, good stuff. Sarah Silverman always made me laugh. Of course, some of the OG classics like Rodney Dangerfield and Joan Rivers. Locally? Derek Edwards was one of the first comics I ever saw live. I was a teenager when I saw him at Yuk Yuks. He had a joke about going to the Dentist and asking for strawberry fluoride, and he says, “Strawberry? This doesn’t taste like strawberry. Maybe if they were soaking in a bucket of goat piss…” Or something like that. Ha, I can still hear his voice.

Who was your favourite comedian growing up?

Favorite? I can’t pick one. But the first time I watched stand-up comedy, I was 12 years old at a friend’s house, shout out to Jeff Gilbert. He popped in Eddie Murphy’s Delirious, and I was blown away. It was the first time I had ever heard anybody talk like that. I remember thinking, “Wow, there is a whole world out there I know nothing about.” Which is how I currently feel about AI.

Who is your favourite comedian now?

Again, so hard to narrow the field, but here we go. Dan Soder, Doug Stanhope, Eddie Pepitone, there are easily ten more. As a comedian, you can watch another comic and think they’re really funny and not laugh because you’re appreciating the mechanics of the joke or something specifically about the performance, but those guys make me laugh out loud like an audience member.

What is your pre-show ritual?

Well, I don’t eat anything heavy before the show, did that a few times, big mistake. Then I’m up on stage feeling bloated like I’m gonna have a heart attack. I still got another 20 years left in me before I go out like that. Depending on the show, I like to get there early, sit in the back and take an inventory of the crowd, spot the drunks come up with a little plan to head them off at the pass.

What is your favourite place you have performed? Why?

I used to host/roast an amateur strip contest in the Bronx. It was wild, the place was always jammed packed and smelled like blunts. I was the only white person there other than cops outside, and the only reason they were there was to collect their payoffs. I worked at that club for 6 years. Cardi B is also an alumni.

What is your favourite bit you have written and why were you proud of it?

Well, this segues nicely. I got a stripper to come to my dad’s bedside while he was dying of cancer. Guess which Toronto hospital?

What is your favourite medium for listening or finding new comics/comedians?

Instagram reels, at the airport, on the John, on the John at the airport…

Tell us a joke about your city.

I came back to Toronto for my high school dropout reunion, nobody is doing well. We had to have it in Oshawa.

Do you have anything to promote right now?

My special, ‘Best Son‘, and my podcast Fight Stories that I co-host with my buddy Tyler Morrison. Got a Fight Story? Give me a buzz.

Where can we follow you? 

Instagram | YouTube

PAY IT FORWARD: Who is another local comic/comedian we should know about?

Well, I gotta plug my co-host for Fight Stories, Tyler Morrison. He’s an assassin.

And Dan Guiry is a silly goose who makes me laugh.

The post Tragedy Plus Time: Comedian John Moses appeared first on Toronto Guardian.

Milkshake is a bright, affectionate companion who loves fetching tennis balls and making new friends. He is highly food-motivated and a very smart student, currently doing great with his reward-based training to help him stay focused. While he can still get a bit distracted or frustrated by a busy environment, he redirects beautifully with a tasty treat and a patient handler.

If you are looking for a clever, loving partner who promises to keep you smiling, Milkshake is ready to whip up happy memories with you!

Milkshake

Breed: Mixed Breed, Small (under 24 lbs fully grown), Mix

Age: 12 years

Sex: Male

Size: S

Colour: White

Spayed/Neutered: Yes

For Toronto Humane Society’s complete adoption process, please click here to learn more about how you can make this companion, a forever friend!

About this column:

Each week we feature animals available for adoption from local shelters in the Toronto area with the hopes that our readers will assist in finding good homes for them. If you, or someone you know, has the resources to take care of one of these animals, please do get in touch with the appropriate shelter via the links provided.

The post Milkshake the dog is looking for a new home in the Toronto area appeared first on Toronto Guardian.

While she can be timid around loud noises or quick movements, Kessie has a heart full of curiosity and a fantastic secret weapon for breaking the ice: she absolutely loves catnip! Offer her a little bit, and she will happily treat you to sweet slow blinks, enthusiastic flops, and playful rolls right from the comfort of her cozy box. When meeting her, a hands-off approach and consistency is preferred until she gains confidence in her new human friends. Once she unwinds and comes out from her shell, this sweet girl loves engaging in string play and soaking up affectionate head and neck rubs.

Kessie is looking for a new home where she can take her time building confidence and fill your life with her sweet company. Come ask about Kessie today!

Kessie

Breed: Domestic Short Hair, Mix

Age: 3 years

Sex: Female

Size: M

Colour: Brown

For Toronto Humane Society’s complete adoption process, please click here to learn more about how you can make this companion, a forever friend!

About this column:

Each week we feature animals available for adoption from local shelters in the Toronto area with the hopes that our readers will assist in finding good homes for them. If you, or someone you know, has the resources to take care of one of these animals, please do get in touch with the appropriate shelter via the links provided.

The post Kessie the cat is looking for a new home in the Toronto area appeared first on Toronto Guardian.

How would you describe your comedy style?

Slice of life, health & romance… I’m just trying to find a way to laugh as my body changes, my parents grow older! I’m generally a family-friendly comedian, but I can add a little sass to things, too.

Who are some of your influences?

Rita Rudner, Wendy Liebman, Jerry Seinfeld & Norm MacDonald are some of my absolute favourite stand-ups. I appreciate the dry wit, the honesty, strong writing and word play. But I’m also equally influenced by humorists like Calvin Trillin and Erma Bombeck, too.

Who was your favourite comedian growing up?

Humorist Erma Bombeck was my favourite comedian growing up. I was introduced to her writing by my parents. She wrote a successful newspaper column (& a number of books) about being a housewife in middle America, which is kinda of funny that I gravitated to her when I was like 10 years old. But I just thought what she wrote was so funny! I have a distinct memory of bringing in her book The Ties That Bind… And Gag! into my Grade 5 homeroom class and laughing my ass off. I was TEN!! It’s ridiculous, but even then, I knew it was good stuff.

Who is your favourite comedian now?

Wendy Liebman is still atop my list, and I feel very lucky that life has connected us and that she’s done online shows of mine. She’s one of the funniest, smartest and nicest comedians you’ll meet. But gosh, I also adore SO many comedians out there: Jason Salmon, Tracy Hamilton, Adam Gabel, Desiree Walsh, Charles McBee, Erin McGuire, Arthur Simeon, Mary Kennedy, Brian Kiley, Josh Johnson… seriously, we could be here for HOURS.

What is your pre-show ritual?

Three things: I eat, light stuff, but I have to eat on account of my being “very very anemic” (an actual quote from my doctor). I also write keywords on my set on a piece of paper, and hold it for a few minutes before putting it in a pocket or (if need be) my shoe. I’m bemused by the fact that I have to hold the paper for a minute or two… do I think it will be absorbed into my bloodstream? And finally… I work on calming my breathing. I’d rather be grounded than amped up before a set.

What is your favourite place you have performed? Why?

Oh, that’s a good question… There could be various answers to this one, like any fully accessible venue because comedy shouldn’t be only for those who can walk up & down stairs… but I think the (and this will be ironic given what I just said) but the 3rd floor stage at the Social Capital Theatre in Toronto. It’s my fave because it’s where I did my very first set in January of 2016. So it just has a special spot in my heart. I’ve been in the Toronto comedy community since the early 1990s, when I did tech for shows & clubs as a teen… but it took a personal loss to push me to try things I’d long dreamed of, like doing stand-up to actually give it a go.

What is your favourite bit you have written and why were you proud of it?

One of the earliest jokes I ever wrote, about handing off my nephew to my brother after a visit… giving him a squeeze and saying I love you, is easily a favourite of mine. I don’t dive too deep into the dynamics with my siblings, but I’m a proud aunt, and that joke just has a punch that just makes it funnier as they get older. Because I cap it with “Aunty Kelly, put me down, I’m 32!” And as he gets older, the age just is more ridiculous. And that joke is on my first album, Sugar n’ Spice & Smirnoff Ice, which just makes me beam. It was literally one of the first jokes I ever wrote.

What is your favourite medium for listening or finding new comics/comedians?

Life! The medium of life. That’s a very general answer, but Instagram/YouTube, or in-person at a mic or a show online, I’m just keeping my eyes open. I produce shows, too, so I want to make sure I’m using whatever platform I have to give a good show and give stage time to those you don’t see enough. And Toronto has a bounty of amazing voices, some of whom use wheelchairs or walkers, so that’s why I need to put in the work to make sure I produce shows in spaces where they can be heard. John Mandrow is an incredible comic, who uses a wheelchair, isn’t seen nearly enough, and Rosani Christy and Desiree Walsh should be headlining across the country because they’re very very funny folks. But wheelchairs and stairs… well… yeah. That’s why I love the virtual medium… it really opened my eyes to who else is in the community with me. And I gotta do better so more people know they’re there.

Tell us a joke about your city.

“Living in Toronto is like living in a live-action game of Tetris… we’re gonna stuff a building there, and, there… is that a tiny empty square of land? Let’s put a condo there…”

Do you have anything to promote right now?

My latest album, Lady Comic! And I’ll produce shows in Toronto that any BODY can come to, walk or wheel on it. You can find it all on my website.

Where can we follow you? 

Instagram | YouTube

PAY IT FORWARD: Who is another local comic/comedian we should know about?

Rob Ito is one of my favourites, a nice guy and just so funny!!

Rosani Christy is an absolute killer who doesn’t let MS slow down her brilliant mind. I love her.

And really, what can you say about Desiree Walsh? She’s incredible, and I’m grateful to call her a friend and share the stage with her.

The post Tragedy Plus Time: Comedian Kelly Zemnickis appeared first on Toronto Guardian.